Do you find yourself putting yourself down? That familiar inner voice saying, “If only I could do better” or “that wasn’t good enough”. You are actually criticising yourself and disapproving what you may have achieved or behaved like. It’s not literally a voice, but rather your own thoughts turning on you?!!! Ahhhrr. It has been named the inner critic, but I refer to it as the “Inner Bully”. Try to think for a moment outside of yourself, if you saw someone speaking to another, in the same way your “Inner Bully” speaks to you, what would you do?
It’s also maybe useful to think about why a bully, bullies? Quite often a bully feels threatened, jealous or inferior of the person they are bullying. But this can’t be the case with the “Inner Bully” because you are it, it’s not coming from another, but it can be useful to know the dynamics of a bully.
A way of combating the “Inner Bully” is to be aware of when your “Inner Bully” is most active. It tends to be when you may have achieved something, or in a social setting where you have been interacting with others. Some simple steps to help you literally get rid of your “Inner Bully”.
Become more aware of it’s presence, that way you can then start to action a different thought process.
Acknowledge its existence, but don’t give it any attention. Move on, quickly as though you are meeting a bully in the street. You wouldn’t want to interact with a bully.
Become your own friend. Sounds a bit odd, but try to be kinder to yourself. Say nice things to yourself, do nice things. You deserve it.
Persevere and persist. Keep on doing the above, the more you do this, the more your “Inner Bully” is no longer welcome.
Simple equation
Be kinder to yourself + be your own best friend
=
A very happy, positive, full of self -love, YOU.